Nice one except for those chilblains! I think I might have the blighters too. ;-)
I like the fact you have sensation in the haiku through those chilblains, and the coolness/cold of the snow, and those soggy mitts, unless you're patting the snowman with bare hands. Brrrrrrrrrr!
One suggestion, why not switch round the first line so it reads:
forgotten chilblains as we pat him into shape -the snowman
angelee
Now get those chilblains looked at, and I'll do the same! ;-)
4 Comments:
nice one angelee
john
Nice one except for those chilblains! I think I might have the blighters too. ;-)
I like the fact you have sensation in the haiku through those chilblains, and the coolness/cold of the snow, and those soggy mitts, unless you're patting the snowman with bare hands. Brrrrrrrrrr!
One suggestion, why not switch round the first line so it reads:
forgotten chilblains
as we pat him into shape
-the snowman
angelee
Now get those chilblains looked at, and I'll do the same! ;-)
Thanks John and Alan,yes I like the way your version reads Alan...thank you,love,angelee
Very nice!
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