Friday, December 08, 2006

chilblains forgotten
as we pat him into shape
-the snowman

angelee

4 Comments:

Blogger John McDonald said...

nice one angelee
john

8:51 am  
Blogger Alan Summers said...

Nice one except for those chilblains! I think I might have the blighters too. ;-)

I like the fact you have sensation in the haiku through those chilblains, and the coolness/cold of the snow, and those soggy mitts, unless you're patting the snowman with bare hands. Brrrrrrrrrr!

One suggestion, why not switch round the first line so it reads:

forgotten chilblains
as we pat him into shape
-the snowman


angelee

Now get those chilblains looked at, and I'll do the same! ;-)

8:12 pm  
Blogger angelee said...

Thanks John and Alan,yes I like the way your version reads Alan...thank you,love,angelee

12:19 pm  
Blogger sangeet said...

Very nice!

9:04 pm  

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